Tag Archives: Pepto Bismol

I need a crush on a dead guy like I need a hole in my head

10 Jan

Yeah you heard me. Crush. Dead guy.

David Carradine.

Yup: old dead guy.

This week’s vid pic is David Carradine’s Chi Energy Workouts for Beginners, and you wanna know what? Carradine doesn’t act like that guy; he is that guy. Let me ask you a question regarding your workouts. Who do you trust more with your body: David Carradine or Richard Simmons? Ah? Ah?


Or this:

That’s what I thought. If someone is going to tell me to “gently close the anal sphincter” (and I swear to god, that’s in there) I want it to be a kung fu master. If someone is going to teach me moves that alleviate digestive problems such as diarrhea (also in there – Tai Pepto?), I want it to be someone who has been fictitiously killed by Uma Thurman.

More on why I love David Carradine fun facts:

  • Do you realize that Carradine was in his 70s when he died? 70s. He looked better than some 40-year-olds I know!
  • Not only was Carradine a kung fu master AND and actor AND a fitness instructor, but he also was an artist, writer and musician…and I’m not just talking about that wood flute thingy. Check this out. In fact, this week’s vid pic includes 4 songs from his album in the special features. I’m listening to them right now, in fact.
  • He wears colorful, satin, kung fu master pajamas while he tai chi-s.

But enough about that.

There are just three things that need to be said about this video today, as there are both tai chi and qui gong workouts on this DVD – I’ll pit them against each other in my next post.

  1. While Carradine’s outfit is rad, the other guys are forced to wear polos and slacks. C’mon!
  2. Is it possible to nap and workout at the same time? …’cause I’m pretty sure I did!
  3. The whole team is standing in front of a giant green screen, and you get to enjoy fabulous nature scenes throughout the entire workout.

Namaste bitches!